WE DID IT!

James and I are married! I am so glad that this marriage is forever because I never want to do that again. The day was perfect. The weather was warm and the sun was shining. The sealing was the most beautiful thing I have ever participated in. I love this man.

Oye! Planning for a wedding is tough stuff. There is an endless amount of items, events, and things to think about:

Cake, food, drinks, utensils, dishware, dress, veil, shoes, bridesmaids, groomsmen, gifts, reservations......

I don't need to list everything. It's just a lot. However, THIS IS SO EXCITING! I am planning my wedding!

Preparing for Marriage and Companionship Inventory

Have you ever done something that new? Preparing for marriage is definetly new for me.
It is exciting!


James Valentine and Elizabeth Lovell are two very different people. Now we are preparing to combine these seperate worlds into a united family.
There are bumps in the road. However, we are commited to work as a team. Right now, our greatest assest is "Companionship Inventory." It is in the Preach My Gospel manual I used on my mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Let me explain.

Companionship Inventory is a weekly meeting between missionary companionships. It is a discussion initiated by the following cues:

1. "Share with your companion appropriate goals and ask his/her help in accomplishing them."
2. "Discuss the strength of your relationship with your companion."
3. "Discuss any challenges that may be keeping your companionship from working in unity or from being obedient."
4. "Resolve conflicts"
5. "Share with your companion what you think his/her strengths are."
6. "Ask your companion for ways in which you can improve."

Adapting to lives together is never easy. I was not always excited for new companions, and I know I am not the easiest person to live with you. This inventory is the glue! It creates a safe atmosphere and a trust between companions. I became converted to the importance of communication in my future relationships.

Luckily, James was willing to give it a try. We started having companionship inventory every week last semester. It was akward the first time (since we were prospective eternal companions--not missionary companions), but now James reminds me on Sunday to reserve time for our inventory.

Not only do we LOVE our Sunday discussion, but it really does make a difference throughout the entire week. We feel comfortable assisting each other and complimenting each other. Plus, it is nice to hear some compliments ;) just like it is fun to give them. Suprisingly, we never run out of compliments!

I am far from being an expert, but I think we are off to a good start!

Click the link:

http://www.youtube.com/user/MormonMessages#p/a/u/1/E_yOAHISi8I

When your heart breaks

Life is full of accomplishments, tears, love, and heartache. That's life. Our natural tendency is to relish in our own success but blame others for our difficulties.

"I did amazing on my test today!"

"Mrs. Smith made the test too hard!"

I think we do this for two reasons. First, so we do not need to take responsibility for our own downfalls, and second, because we feel alone dealing with our battles and do not know where to turn.

This morning, I shed some of life's tears. I was hurt by someone close to me. James, in his wisdom, recommended praying, and he reminded me that the atonement of Christ is not only for repentance but also for comfort and understanding.
The burden I was feeling upon my shoulders was suddenly lighter. Christ undertstands. Christ loves. Christ helps. What a blessing it is to know that I have someone to turn to, who can relate to whatever trial I am faced with! Not only is it a blessing to know I can ALWAYS have help, but I also know that the obstacles in my life can teach me eternal principles if I chose to learn from them.

I hope that when my heart breaks in the future, cause life happens, I will remember that I can turn to my Savior.

A Grateful Heat is a Happy Heart

Today in sacrament meeting, I was reminded about the game Pollyanna plays. On Sundays, the speaker, Brittney, and her sisters walk outside and play the grateful game. I felt like doing a similar activity in an E-mail to James. That E-mail consisted of the following list:

I am grateful for you.
I am grateful for your service toward me.
I am grateful for your dedication to our relationship.
I am grateful for your dedication to our future.
I am grateful for your success at work.
I am grateful for your testimony.
I am grateful for your service in the temple.
I am grateful for your patience with me.
I am grateful for your love and care.
I am grateful for your help with our wedding.
I am grateful for your listening ear.
I am grateful for your excitement for life.
I am grateful for your optimism.
I am grateful for your creativity.
I am grateful for your mission.
I am grateful for your fall out with ex-girlfriends.
I am grateful for your family.
I am grateful for my family.
I am grateful for my parents.
I am grateful for the principles of the gospel my family has taught me.
I am grateful for not having debt.
I am grateful for our small food storage.
I am grateful for my paycheck tomorrow.
I am grateful for TA experience.
I am grateful for Sister Hayes coming tomorrow.
I am grateful for my heating pads.
I am grateful for Dean (the car).
I am grateful for every hour I got to spend in church today.
I am grateful for every time I made time to go to the temple.
I am grateful for a new chance to get a good grade on a calculus test.
I am grateful for "crtl"+"v"
I am grateful for our companionship inventories.
I am grateful for dry ground (no snow yet).
I am grateful for clean movies and books (not Orson Scott Card's).
I am grateful for your example taking notes.
I am grateful for Mondays.
I am grateful for Tuesdays and devotionals.
I am grateful for Wednesdays and only having one class.
I am grateful for Thursdays and having a bigger break before Calculus.
I am grateful for Fridays and the start of a weekend.
I am grateful for Saturdays when I am productive.
I am grateful for Sundays and the spirit at church.
I am grateful for days you have off.
I am grateful for the excel sheet you E-mailed me.
I am grateful for shoes.
I am grateful for socks.
I am grateful for comfy missionary shoes from Sketchers.
I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation.
I am grateful for the sealing of families in the temple.
I am grateful for my family's sealing.
I am grateful for the Book of Mormon.
I am grateful for 2 Nephi 4.
I am grateful for the Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.
I am grateful for my violin.
I am grateful for music.
I am grateful for most hymns.
I am grateful for friends.
I am grateful for acquaintances.
I am grateful for smiles.
I am grateful for discounts and sales.
I am grateful for planners.
I am grateful for four-colored pens.
I am grateful for the idea I just had to post this on my blog.
I am grateful for light switches.
I am grateful for lotion.
I am grateful for gum.
I am grateful for mints.
I am grateful for food.
I am grateful for the sacrament.
I am grateful for my understanding of the gospel.
I am grateful for bed time.

Anyone else want to play?

The Great Kaplan

Last night James and I went on a date to see THE GREAT KAPLAN--a comedic magician. It was there that I realized that I am sometimes that person in the crowd who laughs super loud at everything. No doubt the others in the audience were sometimes laughing at me. I couldn't help it; it was my kind of humor. One stunt involves him balancing a bowling ball on a plunger on his face! Part way through he says, "Hey, I can see my reflection!" in reference to the bowling ball balancing on his forehead. The Great Kaplan then pulls out a comb and starts coming his mustache. Not only did I think that was hilarious, but then he puts the comb back in his pocket and says, "I honestly thought that would be funnier than that." Hahahha, I loved it.

This week I study a little bit out of 2 Nephi in the Book of Mormon. I was really stressed with school, planning the reception, getting announcements out, and feelings of inadequacy. James and I were talking; I expressed my concern for these last months of 2009. "I don't know how I can get it all done: homework, projects, wedding plans, ect." James referred me to the 4th chapter of 2 Nephi and reminded me that I do not have to take the burdens all upon myself. The atonement of Jesus Christ is for all our sorrows, pains, and even stress. I thought about James' council and went home to read that chapter. Nephi is feeling inadequate because of his sins and says, "O wretched man that I am! Yea my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul greiveth because of my iniquities." I have felt that way often in my life, whether I admit it or not to myself. I have felt, "God shouldn't help me because I do not deserve his help." I want to be like Nephi who says, "Nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted," and trust the Lord because I know he loves me.
I love the last two verses:

"O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my tryst in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mne everlasting God. Amen."

Everything he says is true. We are cursed when we put our faith in man. Not a curse that is cast by a witch. It's a curse we bring upon ourselves because when we forget God and put all of our hope in ourselves we can not win. We can not overcome Satan with out God's help, without Christ's atonement. The gospel is a plan of happiness for all mankind. I am comforted knowing God's plan for me!

The Announcements Are Mailed!!!

Yay! Today during lunch James and I mailed off the announcements. The post office laughed at us because we did not know how many announcements there were for sure. We had to count them there. Oops :) Except for the ones going to Romania and Moldova (because we forgot the address to the mission home and no one there will be able to come anyway), they are gone!

Life is full of truths. Sometimes they are simple, and sometimes they are "deep." Today in my Exceptional Students Class, we discussed classroom management. Rules and consequences need to be specific and clear so the students know how and why to be obedient. I am convinced that a significant amount of misbehavior would be solved if students simply understood the rules.

EXAMPLE: (fake but realistic)

Mrs. Smith is a high school Home-Economics teacher. At the beginning of the year, she posts a list of class rules.
1. Be on time
2. Be respectful
3. Follow directions
All of the students nod in understanding and agree to abide by the class rules. The next day, Peter swears in jest at his buddies trying to use a needle. Although the friends are not offended, Mrs. Smith is. She takes Peter to the side and reminds him of the class rules. He smiles and agrees. However, the next day, Mrs. Smith hears Peter swearing again. She asks him to stay after class. She asks Peter, "What are our class rules?" He recited them perfectly. He promises to abide them and gives her a quizzical look. On the third day, Mrs. Smith is already stressed and Peter swears yet again. "TO THE OFFICE, PETER! NOW!" Peter is confused but grabs his belongings. At the Dean's office Peter explains that he is confused but guesses his language is what upset Mrs. Smith. The Dean asks, "well Peter, would you use the language at home?" Peter replies with an honest, pleading face, "but I do! Everyone in my house talks like that!"

Mrs. Smith never explained that Show respect included not swearing. To Peter, he did nothing wrong.

I call this discussion from my class "truth" because we all deal with such problems in communication with others. We often do not explain ourselves. We believe others can GUESS what we mean. Unvoiced expectations can harm a relationship. By asking questions, by listening to others, and discussing things, a relationship can avoid many arguments.

I am grateful these simple truths of life show up. The trick is I must be looking for them.